Now that tomorrow is almost here

I’m scared.  All I have wanted for the last four weeks is for tomorrow to be here so that I can have an ultrasound and see my baby.

I have been frustrated at not having had  more monitoring and testing up to this point and thought it was crazy that I had to wait until 9 weeks and 4 days before I could know anything about this pregnancy.

What I failed to see was the beauty in not knowing.  Me, my husband and mom have been telling me that everything is fine.  None of the three of us is a doctor but we have so far managed to convince me that I am pregnant and nothing is wrong.  Yes well, we did this during my first pregnancy too and I was convinced everything was fine but at 20 weeks I had an ultrasound to prove otherwise.

From the time I got my second pink line up until yesterday I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of tomorrow.  Today I feel like putting on the brakes.  I feel like staying in my land of make believe where I can easily be convinced that things are fine.  Sure I want to hear the heartbeat and see my baby and hear  that everything is perfect so far, but not at the risk of not getting to hear any of those things.

I’m really scared.  I don’t want this taken from me.

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8 thoughts on “Now that tomorrow is almost here

  1. I am going to agree with you, your husband and your mum and say I am sure it is all absolutely fine! But I can totally see why you are scared. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to your update to tell us all about what you get to see.

  2. Oh wow I can’t believe that tomorrow is your ultrasound. I know exactly how you feel in the way of fear. You want to see the baby, but are so scared based on your past experiences. I have a good feeling about this one for you. I am sending you best wishes for an awesome ultrasound tomorrow. Will you share a pic if you get one? I am so fascinated by ultrasounds. At 9 weeks this baby should look like a little person! Sending you lots of love and support!!! xoxo

  3. First of all, I’m so laughing that you caved and ate tacos. That is cassic.
    Second, I know how scary it is waiting to hear bad news even when there is no proof there will be any. Just hang in there and soon you will see that little beating heart. Hang on to hope – there is a wonderful chance you’ll see a healthy little person in there.

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