I know that in my given state of pregnancy I should be nothing but elated. Sadly I am not. I am still that person that wants something to be easy.
I felt like crap all weekend. It felt like I should only have hazy black out memories of a really crazy party Friday night. But Friday night consisted of dinner with Cloudy, Love It or List It reruns, and an early bedtime. I slept in late on Saturday and still when I got out of bed it was like I had the worst hangover of my life. I stayed on the couch most of the weekend.
Can you nominate your own husband for Man of the Year? If so I’d like to nominate Cloudy. He brought me fruit in bed in the mornings because citrus and grapes seem to be the only thing that make me feel better. He did all of our laundry, dishes, and vacuuming. He filled my water glass and apologized that I was feeling so crappy. He even let me moan out directions on how to make my favorite soup and he made it. And I took two bites and changed my mind. All this while letting me hog the tv to get caught up on the Real Housewives of NJ reunions! He is being very loving and supportive and I love him for it.
Yesterday I felt a little better and spent the day at work studying for my huge 8 hour exam coming up this Friday. We even went after work to try out a new gym. We did a circuit class and it was fun. It did make me light headed, nauseous, and burpy though so I think I may have over done it. I devoured half a pizza when we got home and went right to bed.
I want a baby. I really really do. My body has a physical reaction when I see babies that feels like my uterus trying to turn inside out and grab one. I think it will be really cool if we can have one that is made out of bits of me and Cloudy. And I admit that I have been doing everything in my power to get myself knocked up. And now here I am. I got what I asked for and I am not loving it. I was here once before. I did the weeks of sickness and was happy to have it because I was pregnant. But I won’t be fooled this time. I will not enjoy my morning sickness if it does not come with a guarantee!
So of course, I wake up today and I feel fine. Totally fine. No sickness no nothing. So of course, I am freaking out.
One week down, three to go until my first ultrasound. How am I doing? I am a freaking basket case. Hang on hangover, maybe I want you to stick around after all.