Calm, calm, calm….. freaking out.

Whoa three and a half days have passed since I got my positive pregnancy test and I’ve been…Calm.  It’s crazy.  Saturday morning I was pretty freaked out and scared but as the day went on and the truth sunk in I gained a sense of peace.

It was as if my subconscious told my conscious “whatever this is, it’s happening ans we are going through with it now so you better just settle in”.

So I went about my day, unpacking my kitchen and singing and dancing with my husband.  I took a break to call and tell my mom, who is of course ecstatic but also a boiling pot now that she is the only one that knows and we asked her not to tell anyone else.  It was a nice day.

Sunday we took off in search of hiking and biking trails within a reasonable distance of our new house.  We struck out on single track but found a great hike!  The husband and the dogs and I had a nice day together and we talked off and on about the baby but it was really just mellow and felt good.

We had Monday off and needed to go back to our old place to get our sheets out of the dryer and fix a couple of things since we got the house rented!  So we had a few hours in the car together, which is always good for talking.  We decided that we want to find a local OB as soon as we can and get in to see them and find out what they think is the best plan of action for this pregnancy.  We think the best plan is heavy monitoring and early testing.    So I spent the rest of the day just deciding that the doctors would have to come on board with our wishes because what choice did we have?

Now on to today.  This morning I found the OB that seems best for us because a) they have a midwife associated with their practice, b) they are associated with the only hospital in town which is where I will be giving birth (god willing) , c) is really really close to our house and office, and d) the only practice I could find online to be honest..  I called and got their answering machine…  I told myself it was no big deal and left a message.  In my message I said I was new to town, I was newly pregnant, and that last year I had terminated a pregnancy for trisomy 18.  I stressed that I wanted to come in and talk to someone and that I wanted a beta test as soon as possible.

When I didn’t hear back in a couple hours I called back and luckily got a person this time.  The receptionist was very kind and understanding and let me know that she was sending a message to the head doctor’s nurse to see how they wanted to proceeded and when they wanted to get me in.  Then she asked me again what kind of test I wanted and I told her a beta test and then had to further describe what that meant and why I wanted it.  Cure freak out.  Ok maybe she is just the receptionist and it I shouldn’t expect her to know very much about the procedures and such but it worried me that she hasn’t even heard of it!  Is this not something they routinely do?  Then she asked again about my past pregnancy and I had to tell her what trisomy 18 was.

I appreciate that she wanted to get the details right in her message to the nurse but holy hell.  Now I am not feeling confident at all that I am going to get the kind of monitoring and diagnostics that I am feeling like I desperately need to stay calm.  She said the nurse would call and it’s only been 2.5 hours, but I am freaking out!

Should I call back a 3rd time so that they know just how crazy I am from the get go?




3 thoughts on “Calm, calm, calm….. freaking out.

  1. Yes. Call back. They should know right from the start how crazy you are!

    Seriously, I would call back. Unreturned answerphone message + know-nothing receptionist = keep pressing for what you need.

    I’m glad you’re feeling so calm, despite the stress of dealing with people who don’t know what a beta is. Now if you can just stay that way for the next nine months … and pass a little of it along to me …….


  2. I would be willing to bet on just a clueless kind of receptionist. (For about 10 seconds I was a receptionist at a Gastro’s office – stomach expert I was not).

    That being said – I would call back, if for no other reason than to make it clear to the receptionist how very seriously you want to be taken!

    Calm, zen-filled thoughts. It’s gonna be awwwwesome.

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