Be the Environment

I went to acupuncture this morning and it was amazing as always.  It’s always a real treat to go after ovulation because he has to avoid one of my least favorite spots and I get to take herbs in pill form instead of nasty tea, just in case I am pregnant!

Anyway, I was complaining to needle guy that I feel so helpless.  Like this egg is either fertilized or it isn’t and there isn’t anything I can do.  I can’t do anything to guide this tiny grouping of cells into my arms in baby form.  All I can do is wait and see.  He reminded me that that isn’t true, I have to be the environment.  This little tiny light whisper of life will have to live and thrive in me for several months.  I have to be the environment that is supportive of life.   I have to be the soil and the sun and the rain.  It’s up to me not to pollute this micro planet inside of me.  I am not only harming myself now I could potentially harm my baby’s whole ecosystem.    Ok, so I just wanted a little control, I didn’t really want that much pressure!

I can be the environment.  I can watch what I eat and drink and make sure I don’t get too tired and that I stay hydrated.  Most importantly I can watch what I think.  I do believe that thoughts have vibration and while I don’t buy that thinking something negative is necessarily the end of life and I don’t think that positive thinking alone is enough to move mountains or make babies.  I do think it helps to breathe and focus on the good in my life.  If I have a negative thought, I can just have it and not get on that crazy train to see where it goes.

If I don’t get that positive test in a week and a half I don’t have to blame my garden of a uterus.  I just have to keep being loving and fertile so that I am ready when life does decide to take hold.

Then thoughts like this creep in.

Mmm I want a donut!  I bet babies love growing in a place with donuts.   I’m a work in progress.

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6 thoughts on “Be the Environment

  1. Love your post 🙂 There is such a delicate balance b/n good intention and pressure… love the environment analogy… be gentle on yourself… you’re already doing so much 🙂 FXd for you xoxo

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