Well I guess that says it all, I’m out too. I wasn’t expecting this until Sunday so it came as a shock when my temperature was 97.20 this morning. That is well below the 97.7 I had yesterday and my coverline. So no more guessing. Just to be sure, I did waste a test and got a single line. I’m bummed, I’m trying not to be, I know that we hadn’t planned to start trying until July but I am sad anyway. I guess I can really stick it to those fertiles today though. Their advice to “just relax, it will happen when you aren’t trying. Just have a few drinks at your cousin’s wedding, ‘forget’ your condom and see what happens. ” Well I did all that, I even got nervous afterwards like, oh what did we just do we weren’t ready for this. No need to worry here, that egg is as good as gone! I think Flo might even feel a little shameful as she hasn’t popped in to say hello but I’m sure it is only a matter of hours. I have the Diva cup in it’s cute purple and pink pouch waiting her arrival.
I was thinking that I would have myself a nice glass of wine with my
breakfast Friday evening but now I am even considering withholding that pleasure from myself. When I was in this same boat of trying to concieve last year, my naturopath, acupuncturist, and even Randine Lewis, stongly suggested that I cut out all sugars if I wanted to get pregnant. All of it, ice cream, white bread, cookies, alcohol, all of it. And so I did. I eliminated all processed sugar from my diet and I got pregnant two weeks later. I want that again, I don’t know if sugar has anything to do with it or not but I have to try it. So, that means that the bottle of white I put in the fridge this morning will have to wait, and that tub of chocolate ganache icecream will have to wait to. That’s almost as depressing as not being pregnant. Damn PCOS and Damn this maternal drive that won’t let me enjoy my baby free life any longer. Part of me wants to think that because I have been ovulating on my own that that is a sign that I am doing enough right and part of me just doesn’t want to take any chances. And, I really do have a sugar appreciation addiction.
On the plus side you girls are right. Thank you so much for all the kind words and support yesterday. It really was a great cycle, and I did ovulate which is not something that used to come easily to me. Since I ended my pregnancy I have had 7 cycles and 4 of them have been under 30 days in length and the other 3 were 36 days or less. This is unprecedented in my body and I do have faith that it will keep happening and that I will have a chance to get pregnant every month instead of once a year (if I was lucky) like before. It doesn’t come easy, I have to be pretty religious about my herbs and vitamins and acupuncture and everything else. But so far I have not had to resort to some of the more advanced or extreme measures that a lot of you have gone through. So I do consider my self lucky in that regard. But I still feel sad and mad that I am not pregnant today.
I got a reprieve from the 2ww a couple days early (not even going to think about if 12 days is a short luteal phase or not). So the crazies can stop and the crying can come and then it can go. Come on Flo, let’s get in there and give the uterus a good cleaning so that we can try again.