I like results

Well today is cycle day 20 and still no upswing in my temperature that would indicate any kind of action from my ovaries.  That means I am looking at a 35 day cycle minimum which is still better than the 5 month cycle I started this game with but I’m frustrated anyway.  When I make an effort to do everything I can, take all my supplements, drink tons of water, get poked with needles weekly, listen to my circle and bloom visualizations, castor oil packs every night; I like to see a textbook BBT.  When I do, it is all worth it and it gives me the motivation to continue on with all of this stuff.  When I don’t, and my temps are all over the place or just stay low for 20 days, I start to get lazy.  I guess what I am saying is that I have no patience for things not working right now.  I am willing to do the work for results but if I am even one week off, I loose steam and start downward spiraling into no progress land.  I resent every handful of pills I swallow, thinking whats the point?  I start to wonder if I am spending too much on acupuncture for nothing.  It just needs to work.

The same is true for my weight.  I have not adopted an official plan this time around but I am expecting results anyway.  I have started to go back to the gym for the Mon Wed Fri strength endurance training class that kicks my butt, and I bought a pass so that I can swim laps at the local hot springs pool on Tues and Thurs.  I am still teaching 3 yoga classes a week and I also signed up for a 5 week workshop where I go for 2 hours every Sunday for 5 weeks to study the ashtanga primary series.    My first class was last Sunday and I was so sore up until today really but I am learning so much, it is nice to take a class for me again.  I have gotten so into my teaching that my own practice has fallen by the wayside.  And I am also starting to really get into mountain biking.  I live in a town where you are only cool if you bike so I decided I better try and learn.  I have found a lovely group of beginner ladies and we have started riding on wednesday nights.  I can already tell that I am getting stronger, last night we rode for 2.5 hours all over the freaking hills and even though I was beat when I got done I felt great.  Cloudy has been taking me on Monday nights too and he is surprisingly patient with me as I learn something that comes very easily and naturally to him as he has been riding for about 22 years.  Anyway, all that to say that I am getting lots of physical activity in.  I am watching what I eat and trying to plan healthy meals out ahead of time but I have not brought myself to follow any specific diet or count calories again.  I feel great and am enjoying being so active but I know if I keep this up for very long and stay at my 144lb mark I will slowly start to get very frustrated and thus lazy.

I want reliable magic results.

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3 thoughts on “I like results

  1. I’m so impressed by how motivated you are!! You are an amazing woman! Even if you don’t see the weight falling off I hope it makes you feel good in other ways. I’m sure the weight loss will come! And I truly hope that your ovaries get with the program soon – I ovulated late this cycle so I totally understand how frustrating it is. It’s so hard to put so much hope on things that we can’t really control.

  2. wow, you are really active, it’s so strange because I’m the same, excercise is not enough to loose weight on its own. I need to find a diet/foods that works a well.

I always love hearing from you.

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