This is a post for the Blog Hop hosted by Dandelion Breeze.
The idea is for this BlogHop to be a space to write about, and share, a post about what has helped you along your loss and/or infertility journey… a support service… a friend… a book… a song… a website/forum… any information… anything.
If you are new to this blog my husband Cloudy and I had to terminate our first pregnancy at 21 weeks due to a trisomy 18 diagnosis. After months of struggling against irregular periods and poly cystic ovaries we felt very fortunate to have gotten pregnant with the baby we very much wanted and were ready to welcome into our family. We thought for sure that the infertility issues were going to be the worst of our problems and that now we would move on and have our healthy little one in our arms in 9 easy months. We were naive to think so and at 19.5 weeks we had our hearts ripped out. At the end of the next week we went through a nightmare worse than we could ever imagine. And now we are on the other side of tragedy with sorrow and fear in our hearts. But also we have a lot of hope and love to move forward and try again.
The thing that has helped me in dealing with this pain is my friends and my family, including Cloudy. My husband, family and friends have all be so supportive and have all been there for me no matter what I have needed. They brought us dinner, cleaned our house, took me away for a fabulous weekend, and reached out in more ways than I can list here. I had no idea how loved I really was. It is what held me together when I thought for sure I would fall apart. And it is the reason I can move forward even in fear, because I know I have an army of warriors with heart behind me.
So to the people reading this that have suffered a loss I say this, let your friends be there, let people help you. Lean in.
And to the people reading this who may know someone who is suffering from a loss my advice is this. Show up. Call. Think of something specific you can do to help them and do it. But mostly just show up and be present with whatever they are feeling. It makes all the difference. Lean back.
I still cry almost every day for the little person that is no longer in my life, but I can count my blessings in the number of amazing people who are in my life.
I get an email with inspirational words from Daily Om everyday and today’s just went along with this post so well I wanted to share a part of it.
The affection and support we receive from the important people in our lives forms a large part of the foundation from which we enter the world in order to discover the scope of our potential. Since we feel validated within by their approval and acknowledgment, we need not seek outside approval from people in other spheres of our lives and can instead work toward gaining a stronger sense of self-acceptance. We need never feel failure, knowing as we do that we will always have a network of strength to rely on when our plans go awry. Likewise, we are more apt to take on obligations that take us outside of our comfort zones because we know that we are loved no matter what. Since you know you are appreciated today, you will approach your worldly affairs with renewed confidence.