I have mentioned before that we have some pretty great friends. They are just really good people in general. The couple that had dinner on our doorstep after we lost the baby just applied to be foster parents and were approved a few weeks ago. Last weekend they received a call that a baby had just been born into the system by a mother addicted to meth. The extent of the complications this kid will have is unknown at this point but the two halves of his brain failed to join.
I say reality like tv because when I heard they were bringing this baby boy into their home and all the problems he might have, it made me think of the crazy drama doctor shows I love and watch with a sick obsession. It just sounds like an episode of private practice not the lives of my awesome friends. But they are good people and they just want to make a difference.
Cloudy and I were invited over last night to meet the little guy. I was so filled with feelings all day. I wasn’t sure how I would feel seeing him and holding him. On one hand I am excited because they were really hoping to bring a baby home ( they have two elementary aged daughters) and on the other hand worried for him and them, I mean they don’t have any clue how long he might be there or what kind of care he will need. And if I am perfectly honest, I was feeling a little jealous. I’m not sure how to write about it but I feel weird about the jealousy because I do not at all wish for any baby to have life threatening complications and I don’t wish the work and patience and financial resources this kid will need on any parents. But I still can’t help but feel that twinge of, you have a baby and I don’t.
I was worried all day about how I would react to him. But you know what, I didn’t have much of a reaction at all. Well, not one worthy of a Grey’s Anatomy story line or anything. I just held him the whole time we were there. He mostly just slept and it felt so good to hold him. Peaceful. He looked really good.
While we were there we found out that he is possibly going to an adoptive mother next week. It is so great that he will have a permanent home with someone equipped to take care of him, but my friends are sad. Even though it’s only been 4 days they are pretty attached. They are hoping to have another child in their care soon and are now open to the possibility adopting if the right fit comes along.
I have thought about fostering dogs before but have never done it because I thought I would just end up with a house full of dogs I couldn’t let go of. But babies, oh I’d be gone. I’d want them all. I don’t know how foster parents deal with the separation time and time again. I really admire the folks that do it.
Holding that sweet baby boy definitely helped me to want to push through the fear and hold my own baby in my arms.