First Trimester

At the 5 week mark I had a scare. When I peed I had some spotting; it was so minor. Very light brown and so scarce that it is miraculous that I even saw it but you would have thought I gave birth to an alien I was so freaked out. I could not control myself. It actually occurred on the same day that we had to take our puppy in for corrective heart surgery so it was a pretty emotionally charged day anyway. Once we got our little canine friend admitted to the hospital I went directly to the drug store and bought another pregnancy test. I took it right into their bathroom and was eased slightly by the positive result. The spotting continued that way for three days. It never got any worse, barely noticeable. But I did notice it and it wasn’t going away. I made an appointment at an OBGYN. Cloudy came with me and the first thing we did was get an ultrasound. The u/s tech was kinda bitchy. I told her I had to pee and she told me to hold it because I needed a full bladder. Than 20min later when she was ready to begin she said oh you are so early that you have to have a vaginal u/s so you do need to go pee first. I KNOW! If you asked me how far along I was when I said I had to go we could have cleared this all up and I wouldn’t have had to sit squirming in your waiting room. She also wasn’t able to tell me anything about what she saw. She just asked a bunch of questions and then told me she wasn’t able to tell me anything. Evidently it was fine for her to say that she saw a yoke sack and no baby or heartbeat. She looked at my ovaries but wasn’t able to tell me if I still had multiple cysts. She asked if I had pain on my right side. I said no and asked if she could tell me anything about it. She just said “I told you I can’t give you any results and you only have to wait a few minutes to talk to the doctor about it, I haven’t met anyone that couldn’t wait a few minutes and I haven’t met anyone so far that has been worth loosing my job” Well ok, crabby biter u/s tech. We will not talk to you or acknowledge you any more today. Thank you for your precious time, good luck with the job! Won’t it be ironic if you loose it due to your fantastic bedside manner?

(Our puppy came through his surgery like a champ and is doing awesome)

We were moved to a room and then more waiting ensued. A nice girl came in and took my blood pressure and typed all my info the computer. I was feeling better about being there, maybe they weren’t all evil. Then the NP came in. She was great, a little scattered but great. She was older but super hip, very motherly and kind. She listened and talked a lot. I think she really liked Cloudy and I, she seemed to understand me and find me endearing and not crazy so I loved that. She said the development of everything looked great. The yoke sack and gestational sack seemed to be developing well. The really good news is that my ovaries are cyst free! Wow! There was one healthy corpus luteum on my right ovary and that was it!! The cysts that my RE told me would never go away were completely 100% gone. The needles and castor oil packs, and yoga, and handfuls of supplements and herbs did it. They really worked!!!

The nurse practitioner said the spotting was likely caused by a hematoma at the implantation site and not to worry. She was also excited to hear that my once completely cystic ovaries were clear with the use of fairly natural remedies. She also explained what I already knew, that we were not out of the deep murky water yet. I asked her if she would take my HCG levels. She said that it is not something she would normally order but that she could tell that after what we had been through getting pregnant that I was not going to feel good about leaving there without dropping off some blood. So she ordered the test but made me promise not to freak out if I didn’t see a clear doubling. Deal! I filled my two vials and we went on our way. I was put on 3 weeks of pelvic rest and told to come back for another ultrasound at 8 weeks when we should see more and hear a heartbeat. Well my hcg didn’t double in 48 hours. It went from 42,000 to 52,000. I thought these numbers seemed high when she first told me. She said all it means is that we don’t know what is going to happen. And even though I promised not to freak out I did have a small breakdown and cried outside. I cried even more when I called my mom. But then, like I do, I came in and immediately started researching it. I found out that after levels of 6,000 hcg doesn’t double that quickly anymore. And even though my numbers were way above 6,000 they were still in the normal range for six weeks. So I decided to assume everything was fine, I even went back to imagining having twins with high numbers like that!

At about 6 weeks I started to feel nauseous. Here it was, that telltale symptom that I had been begging for to give me some assurance that I was really pregnant. It sucked and I wanted to give it right back. Thank you universe I believe you now, I’ll go back to feeling good. I only actually threw up on Fridays, I think by the end of the week I had just reached complete exhaustion. I was so tired and sick feeling all week, and every Friday like clockwork for the next 6 week I threw up 2 or three times throughout the day.

At my 8 week appointment I went in with no more spotting to report. We were able to see the fetal pole right away. Things were measuring right on schedule. We even got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. I wanted to cry but my bladder was so full I was afraid if I let anything leak it would all go! So I held it in and just smiled with Cloudy. Since things were looking so good I decided to tell a few other close family members. My dad was so excited he let a few more know before I could shut him down. Its ok dad you were excited I know.

I was starting to believe a little bit that this was actually happening. We were going to have a baby in the spring. I still wasn’t buying things and suggesting to others that they hold off as well.
Another month of sickness and then one big milestone brought two great reliefs. Second trimester coming up.

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